Overcoming Disappointments

Failures, setbacks, obstacles, adversities, and dissatisfactions are a few words used to describe disappointments. Like everyone else, there have been numerous times in my life when I have faced disappointment. Frustrations with my family, friends, job, and the list goes on. The same is probably true for you as well. Whatever name you use: hurts, heartbreaks, challenges, we all face them, and they sting!

In fact, people who you love the most will also disappoint you. No one is perfect. Furthermore, as we go throughout our life, we will continue to face disappointments. It is a given and an absolute: we will face hurt because someone or something lets us down. 

However, disappointments do not have to crush our spirits, and we should try to prevent a long-term setback at all costs. Here are some tips that have helped me get through challenges in my life.

Think about past situations that disappointed you. Did something good come from it? If you were passed over for a job, did you get a better one later? One that you would not have received if you got the first position. Or, the ex that you thought you could not live without. This point reminds me of the song "Unanswered Prayers" by Garth Brooks. How many unanswered prayers are you thankful for today? Remember those during your times of disappointment. 

Take a moment to process the grief of what you hoped would happen or what ultimately happened. It is okay to mourn what could have been or a sad occurrence. That being said, it is essential to get over the grief as quickly as possible.    

Use the disappointment as fuel. If your friends and family let you down because they don't support you, prove them wrong. When people say you can't, show that you can and will. 

Think about the times you have disappointed someone else. It sounds harsh, but when you realize that you also sadden others, it may be easier to face disappointment from another person. No one is faultless, including you!

Show yourself some compassion. You are not stupid, ugly, incapable, or whatever your negative emotions tell you at the moment. You are intelligent, beautiful, and very much capable of overcoming disappointment. 

Think about all the positives you have in your life. Being thankful for what you do have is one of the best ways to get over a disappointment. 

Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or counselor about your feelings. I need to vent sometimes, and having someone in my life to listen to me helps me with my emotions. 

Talk to the offending party about your feelings. Sometimes, the person who disappointed you had a reason you are not aware of or did not know they hurt you. Speaking to someone who has hurt you is challenging; however, you can gain clarity or convey your feelings about the impacts of their actions. 

Focus on self-improvement. What things led up to the disappointment? We all have areas in our lives that could use some improvements. Think about those areas as an opportunity to make changes. If you have friends that are always hurting you, it may be time to expand your friend group. 

Discover your passion. If you have faced setbacks in one area of your life, devote some time to discovering what interests you. If your career is not going the way you hoped, maybe you have another calling outside of your 9-5. 

Do something you love! Find a distraction. I enjoy going on car rides to nowhere. I love looking at trees, grass, beaches, mountains, any place that is new to me.

Treat yourself. Show yourself some love! You don't have to spend a lot of money to treat yourself: enjoy a nice meal, a trip to your local coffee shop, anything to pamper yourself.

Exercise. To me, this is easier said than done. However, exercise releases the neurochemical endorphin, which helps produce positive feelings. Whether it is a short walk or a complete workout, moving will help you to feel better. 

Focus on the future. Do not get caught up in the mistakes, hardships, or hurts of your past. Look forward and adopt a forward-thinking view. 

These are some tips that have helped me through the challenges in my life. What are some tips that you have used to help get you over a disappointment? Comment below.

Be blessed!

Jackie W.